Jesse James: I’m Tiger Woods!

It seems the cool thing to do if you’re a celeb these days is to cheat on your lovely wife with multiple women.  You also have to text obscene messages to your mistresses to validate your creepiness.  In the wake of the Tiger Woods scandal we see that Jesse James may have taken some pointers from Tiger on how to get caught and really look like a tool.

If you follow the dumbed up news we all love to watch, yet don’t like to admit, you’re familiar with Jesse James and his very similar ‘transgressions’ that my man Tiger committed.  Does anyone else think that these dudes should maybe cut a ball off or two?  Do you really need that much sex that you have to cheat on your already super sexy wife?  These guys must seep testosterone through their undies to need that much loving.

Jesse has followed the Tiger formula to the ‘T’.  He has cheated on his most awesome wife with multiple women, texted way too graphic messages like a douche, and now he’s in rehab to quell his lust for the magical fruit.  I guess he checked into a rehab center in AZ on March 26th.  He even managed to get pulled over on his way there, so the cops could rat him out to the tabloids.

I hope things work out for these celebs.  Actually, I could give a rat’s ass, but I do want Tiger to start dominating golf again, and I want Sandy B. to come out of hiding.  I love her!  Unfortunately, I don’t think either of these relationships will survive.  Honestly, does rehab ever work?  Just ask your local junky.

You’ve been enlightened…

Via [CNN]


Tags : beatCelebscreepy
Matt Heywood

The author Matt Heywood

Matt Heywood is the founder and EIC of where he strives to make you a better geek, one post at a time! When he’s not scouring the Internet for interesting nuggets of awesomeness he can be found in his secret lair enjoying the latest and greatest video games, taking pictures of toys, or talking Star Wars on EB’s Star Wars Time podcast show.