Review: Kinect Star Wars is as Bad as Expected
I foolishly picked up Kinect Star Wars this week mainly because I thought that the mainstream press may have been overly criticizing this motion controlled title. Well, I was wrong, and they are most certainly right! This game is about as reliable as a screen door on a submarine, and while playing it you’ll wonder how it made it out of QA testing alive. At times, when everything is functioning, you will feel like you have the power of a Jedi, but unfortunately those times are few and far between. The Jedi Destiny mode is definitely the most glitchy, and while the other modes offer some sort of reliable gameplay, Kinect Star Wars isn’t a title I can recommend.
Kinect Star Wars
EB 6 out of 10 Buddhas
The Awesome: Nothing in this game qualifies as awesome
The Not so Awesome: The whole damn sh*t colored package
I’m not kidding around. There is nothing in this game that I can describe as being awesome. Every once in awhile the motion controls all gel together and work pretty well, but I’m talking about 2% of the time. During the other 98% you’ll find yourself aimlessly flailing your body parts around in an attempt to have your character perform properly on screen. Half of the time I was forced to use my left hand for lightsaber fighting even though I’m a righty, and on top of that the Force powers are nearly impossible to pull of with ease.
The racing and rancor modes are OK, but just OK
The racing, rancor, and dance modes are neat, but not worth the price of admission. You’ve experienced the same types of gameplay in other Kinect titles, so don’t expect anything new and revolutionary. The only positive about this game is that it’ll work out your shoulders and traps like a mother f*cker, but if you’re not into working out then you’re looking at another negative aspect of this game.
The Not so Awesome
Let me save you some time. This game is a piece of sh*t. I could write about all of the issues for another 10 pages, but I’ll spare you the boredom. Pretty much everything you’ve read about this game is true. The motion controls are crap, the graphics are sh*t, and no one will want to play this game for extended periods of time. The only redeeming quality of this game is that your kids may actually enjoy it, because they don’t know any better.
Frustrations O’plenty in the Jedi Destiny mode
The Final Verdict
You should only buy this game if your a Star Wars nut like myself. Lucas’ spell is strong, and I’ve been caught up in it for most of my life. I had to pick this game up even knowing that it’d probably suck harder than a working girl at a political conference. Hardcore Star Wars fans need to buy this game just to remind themselves that the Star Wars product they used to know and love is more or less dead. Crappy spin-offs like this are the norm these days for Lucasfilm, so if you want to continue your self punishment go ahead and buy Kinect Star Wars.
I can only give it an EB 6 out of 10 Buddhas, and that’s being generous towards its few bright spots. I urge you to watch this Kotaku video to see how unreliable the Kinect controls can get. They’re frustrating to say the least! You’ve been thinking I’m an a-hole for buying this game…
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