I treated my eyes to a screening of Michael Bay’s Transformers: Dark of the Moon (3) last night, and although it was a visual spectacle, I still left the theater feeling like my brain was r*ped. If you’ve seen the previous two Transformers then the 3rd shouldn’t feel much different to you. The action literally doesn’t stop from the word go, and at times I found myself begging for some sort of break from all of the mayhem taking place on the IMAX screen in front of me. I felt like Rosie Huntington-Whiteley did a fine job replacing the Fox, and as always Lebouf carried the show. Regardless, I never felt myself caring for the characters outside of a heartfelt moment between Bumblebee and Sam, which only reminded me of my own relationship with a special pet. It was a good time none the least, but I didn’t walk away feeling like I just witnessed something special.
‘Transformers: Dark of the Moon’: EB 3.9 out of 5 Stars
Transformers 3 is the epitome of a Michael Bay summer blockbuster with more explosions, stunts, and over-the-top CGI action than you’ll find in most movies these days. The 3D was wonderful, in fact, I’d put it on par with ‘Avatar’. It really helped to focus on what was taking place on screen by separating the action from the backdrop of the landscape. There are moments when my jaw dropped in amazement in what I was seeing in this film. I have to wonder if Bay nearly destroys every shooting location he works on with all of his real life explosions and destruction. This dude does not f*ck around when it comes to action, and his brand of it looked pretty amazing in the 3rd dimension.
Scenes Like This Really Popped in 3D
I would have to say that my favorite moments from this film are the action scenes where two or more Transformers are going at it battle royal style. If this film featured real life warriors versus cybernetic ones, it would easily earn itself an R-rating. I’m talking decapitation central! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie with more unique ways to separate an enemies head from its torso. Every time one of these slow-mo action pieces took place I couldn’t help but scream, “America, F*ck Ya!” in the back of my mind. The use of oil and bolts to represent blood and guts is masterfully done, and it truly helps to define the Transformers as living beings and not just advanced pieces of scrap metal and AI.
In fact, I found myself believing in the robots more than the actual people in this film. There were moments where I felt sadness watching certain Transformers meet an untimely demise, and I don’t think I would’ve felt the same way if the scene were about any of the real actors. I think this is where Transformers 3 fails. Not once did I really give a sh*t about Sam and his issues with the world not accepting him for the two-time hero that he is. The same can be said for the rest of the crew as well. Really, the only thing I cared about was seeing Rosie on screen in her painted on jeans.
Yep, Those are the Jeans I’m Talking About
For the most part the human cast is just there for some comedic moments, and some of them border on the line of campy (Turturro’s Simmons). You’re not going to find any deep interactions between the flesh and blood actors in this film. This is not to say that the actors didn’t do a good job, which they did for a movie of this nature, but they’re definitely not the true stars of this series. Outside of Lebouf and the surprisingly decent Huntington-Whiteley, the only other character to stand out to me was Lester Speight’s token big bad black guy. For anyone that has played Gears of War you will know Lester as the “Cole Train”, and he brings that same Cole-like personality to this film with him stealing a few scenes with some funny lines. Like I said, the actors are fine, but it isn’t hard to tell that they’re not the stars of the film. That designation is left for the Transformers and their never ending struggle between the Autobots and the Decepticons.
Optimus Does His Fare of Decapitations and Head Shots
Just like the 2nd movie, Dark of the Moon’s plot is all about an ancient robot that interest both sides in different ways. Of course the human world is at stake again, but this time there’s a little surprise thrown in at the beginning that you probably won’t see coming. This time around a little backstory is shown about the history of the Transformers, and the first few minutes of the film take you through an amazing visual journey of Cybertron while the civil war is taking place. I found this to be quite enjoyable as a fan of the series, but after the beginning things get put into overdrive, so it was hard to really revel in many moments after this one. I can say that the story does make a little more sense than the last movie, and as mentioned above the action seems to be a little more tolerable with the 3D, but the overall plot in Transformers 3 is forgettable to say the least.
It’s All About the Transformers!
If you’re looking for a visual mind f*ck that pushes the boundaries of 3D animation and film making, then Transformers 3 is for you. Actually, if you’re just looking for a fun movie going experience that doesn’t require you to have an IQ above the Dull classification, then Transformers 3 is also going to be right up your alley. The 3D was expertly done and it made all of the action on screen seem a little more palatable. This film has some “Oh Snap!” moments mixed in with some “Please God Stop!” moments, but for the most part it’s an entertaining Summer blockbuster. The new leading lady makes you easily forget about Megan Fox, and Shia is his usual self, but the rest of the human cast are forgettable except for the Cole Train (AKA Lester Speight). All in all I give Transformers 3 an EB 3.9 out of 5 stars, and I recommend it to all geeks to see. If anything it’ll definitely leave your action cravings satisfied for the next couple of years. You’ve been wanting to see some of these robot death scenes…
[#ff entbuddha] “Making you a better geek, one post at a time!”