Will Fight For Food: Super Actual Sell Out: Game of the Hour is a very short indie game that attempts to balance things out with a comically long title that’s hard to pass up on the churning conveyor belt of games that is Steam. Tokening back to the classic arcade style “beat ’em up” games like Double Dragon and Streets of Rage, Will Fight For Food introduces an interesting combination of genres that was oddly missing between the 2D fighting of the past; open-ended dialogue choices that allow you to do things like beat a koala up so you can wear his foot. Still not sure this game appeals to you? Let me help you with that. Like artichokes and Nutella or cinnamon donuts and onion dip, Will Fight For Food is also an aardvark. Are you wondering what that means? Do you even know what an aardvark is? On a scale of 5 to 1 how confused are you? 7? Good answer, you’re ready to play Will Fight For Food.
WFFFSASOGOTH as it will now be known, tells the tale of you, Jared Dent, a retired pro wrestler whose last days in the ring may or may not have included a drunken stupor, being conned out of his championship belt, knocked into a coma, and then disappearing into the night forever. But for dramatic purposes, he has returned more intoxicated and homeless than ever before! Why is he back? That’s mostly up to you to decide. You can go out on an amazingly heroic adventure to redeem yourself and come to the aid of all your old wrestling partners you once wronged in a series of events that will contain no sarcasm, OR you can complete the prophecy and bring that weird homeless guy in the alley of a dirty pizza joint you pulled out of the dumpster. If you don’t pick the latter just know I’ll be judging you forever. As you explore the handful of levels, you’ll encounter previous friends or foes that will ask you for small, ridiculous favors to earn their trust again. This usually involves you solving a dispute between them by using your natural born head butting skills or attempting to craft a coherently sarcastic argument to why they should get along or just kill each other. You craft your arguments via a ridiculously complicated dialogue minigame of shorts that will either end up exactly the way you wanted it to or whoever you’re talking to will simply think you have brain damage. Either way, good times will be had by all as the writing is some of the funniest I have ever seen a video game before.
If you choose to take the “beat ’em up” approach on the other hand, you might find yourself a little disappointed. Developer Pyrodactyl seems to have implemented the fighting as more of a secondary option for comedic relief, at least that’s how it feels. The fighting animations are a bit clunky and sometimes unresponsive if you hit the attack button one to many times or at the wrong time during an animation. I also found early on that if you time it right you can simply use the charge attack repeatedly to kill anyone you’re battling regardless of your special gear, which kinda negates having gear at all or even fighting at all when it’s nearly impossible to lose.
Sadly my other complaint is not having enough of a good thing really. Yes, Will Fight For Food, sorry, WFFFSASOGOTH is only $5 and you’re definitely getting your money’s worth (especially if you factor in the mod support), but you can finish one play through of this in about an hour or so, give or take a little for bouts hysterical laughter. There is some replay value in going back to explore the other choices you could’ve followed or replaying some of the arcade machines you find around the levels, but ultimately I want to think there’s more. Without spoiling anything though, it doesn’t exactly end in a fashion that would speak towards this one being an episodic adventure for Jared Dent.
So if WFFFSASOGOTH really is a one episode adventure, than let’s give it a proper wrap up here, shall we? If you love comedic games that don’t mind taking a jab at themselves and the nerd culture in general than this one is definitely a must play. The open ended dialogue options make for some hilariously written conversations and the classic arcade style feel really makes the game’s world stand out. While a short run time and a lackluster fighting system are a little disappointing, it shouldn’t hold you back from picking this one up. Fingers crossed for a sequel, someone start a petition!
“Making you a better geek, one post at a time!”