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Semi-LiveBlog: Apple Press Conference July 16

The Apple press conference for the iFail 4 has just begun.  I’ll be updating this post randomly to give it that semi-live effect.

The conference started off with the anntena song from some fanboy a-hole.  Check it out here and tell me that this guy wouldn’t bl*w Steve Jobs.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKIcaejkpD4

Lord Jobs is now on the stage and he has said, “We’re not perfect. Phones aren’t perfect. We know that, you know that. But we want to make all our users happy. If you don’t know that, you don’t know Apple. We’re going to talk about how we’re going to do that.”

Too bad he’s now going into a presentation on some data.  Didn’t think they’d just come out and say they f’d up.

Now he is pumping up how awesome the phone has done as far as sales.  3 million sold. Blah Blah.

Jobs just took a small dig at Gizmodo, which has obviously become his nemesis.  He mentioned that they were the first ones to post the videos about the antenna issue.  He has dubbed this ‘Antennagate’

Steve says they have been working for the past 22 days to solve the root cause.  He is stressing that they don’t believe the videos on YouTube, so they began their own testing.

He mentions other phone models that have the issue.  Again, they’re kind of side stepping the issue and comparing with other phones.

They show a test of the BB Bold 9700 and how the bars dip when you hold it wrong.  If that’s even a legit comment.  How can you hold a phone wrong??

Next test is on the Droid ERIS.  Again the bars are dropping if you hold it on the left side.  Whatever Apple, just focus on your issue.

Now a Samsung Omina.  Same deal bars drop if you grip it a certain way.  I think we get the point Apple.

Jobs is conceding that smartphones aren’t perfect.  I thought everything Apple did was perfect?

He’s now accusing other companies of maybe using a faulty algorithm for their reception bars.  Says the new patch will make Apple’s legit.

Steve is now talking about some 100 million dollar testing room they use to test phones.  It looks like a room you’d put a mental patient in.  Maybe this is where the Foxconn employees go to kill themselves.

He’s reiterating that all smartphones have issues, but the iPhone4 actually has the best reception out of all of their models.

He states that the issue is overblown.  Only .55% of Applecare calls are about the reception issue.  That’s about 16500 cases.

Jobs is now comparing returns of the iPhone4 compared to the 3GS.  Only about 1.7% have been returned compared to 6% of the 3GS.  Maybe this is all a sham?

iPhone4 does drop more calls than the 3GS, but it is only 1 more out of 100.

Jobs has conceded that he doesn’t think this is a major issue, but it only affects a small group of peeps.  He thinks the big change for the 3GS to the 4 is that the 3GS could use cases form the 3G, so users had cases right away.  For the 4 they don’t have enough cases, so users are going bare-back and messing the signal.

He’s going into a lovefest about his users.  He loves us.

Now we’re talking.  He won’t concede that they have an issue, but he is saying that he wants his customers happy.    Since everyone has stated that the bumpers fix the issue, Apple will now give every 4 user one for free.  Even if you bought one you can get your money back.  Now we’re talking!

Apple will send cases to anyone that purchases the 4 up until September 30th.

Still thinks the issue is blown out of proportions.

Customers can apply for the free cases next week on Apple’s website.

If you’re still not happy Steve will give you a full refund no questions asked.  Not bad.

Other updates:  White iPhone4 will ship at the end of July.  Sales will begin in 17 other countries at the end of the month as well.

Jobs is continuing to hammer home that he loves his users.  Ahhhh.

He summed things up by saying smartphones have issues, the 4 is awesome, and all smartphone makers need to make better antennas.  This issue was blown up for no reason according to his data.

Q&A time!

How’s your health?  This guy must be a fanboy!  By the way Steve said it was great while he was on vacation in Hawaii this week.  I bet he’s happy to be at the conference today….NOT!

Are you considering changing the hardware?

3GS had same issue and we’re getting reports that this is better.  Not sure if they’ll redo it in the future.  Trust me, the 5 won’t have the same setup.

This one is great.  Someone said that he can’t get his BB Bold to drop signal and wants Steve to show him how to do it…LOL  Steve just said ya it doesn’t work all the time.

Someone asked that the signal can be blocked just with a finger and not a death grip.  The apple engineer pretty much replied with techno speak and no real answer.  Denied.

Steve was asked if he would apologize to investors and he basically said bl*w me.

Steve doesn’t think he is forcing customers to choose form over function.

According to Steve there will be refunds for AT&T contracts if needed.  Nice move.

Now he’s getting witty.  When asked if the 9/30 date means customers need to buy their own cases now Jobs said, “Not really, we’ll reevaluate then.  Maybe weill have a better idea.  Maybe Eminem will come out with a band-aid that goes over the corner and everyone will want that!”  I think Steve isn’t taking this so seriously.  Funny!

Jobs responded that people who bought 3rd party cases will not get a refund.  Boned!

Jobs and his 2 amigos were asked if they use the cases and they all whipped out their phones – Negative!  Jobs said he death grips it and gets better reception that ever before.  I bet people wish they had Jobs’s 4 then.

Jobs said he was embarrassed by the Consumer Reports article, and they haven’t said anything until now because they didn’t have the data to present.

He’s explaining that it’s human nature to beat down someone who is doing well, in this case Apple.  So basically he feels like he’s getting picked on.  Welcome to the land of being a huge corporation pal!  Now you are Microsoft!

Jobs is alluding to the fact that some reports may have been done just to drive hits to websites.  I think someone is a little pissed at the reporters.  He’s pretty much blaming the issue on the media.  I’ll admit that I’ll write anything if if grabs a hit, so thanks Steve!

He’s kind of trying to make people feel bad for Apple.  Like we turned on them and shame on us.

Jobs doesn’t think any phone right now has solved the antenna issue, but he’d like Apple to be first.

Apple has sent engineers to people’s houses to do testing.  Impressive!  They would have considered a recall if the data came back suggesting one.

Engadget asked a question about the NYT article and Jobs got pissed.  Basically called the NYT full of crap and he got mad at Engadget.

Jobs is a little mad about customers posting his e-mails on the web.  Get used to it pal it’s called the future.

The bumper offer will extend outside of the US, and there’s a good chance it’ll last past the 9/30 date.

That’s it folks!  I wouldn’t say much was learned outside of the fact that Apple still doesn’t think their sh*t stinks.  I do applaud them for the temp fix with the free case offer, or full refund, but something still feels fishy.  Apple did what I expected them to, which was downplay the problem and spin it in a manner that made them look like the entity getting hosed.  Good for them.  You’ve been updated…

E.B. “Making you a better geek, one post at a time!”

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Tags : applebeatcool techfanboyshuh?iphone
Matt Heywood

The author Matt Heywood

Matt Heywood is the founder and EIC of EntertainmentBuddha.com where he strives to make you a better geek, one post at a time! When he’s not scouring the Internet for interesting nuggets of awesomeness he can be found in his secret lair enjoying the latest and greatest video games, taking pictures of toys, or talking Star Wars on EB’s Star Wars Time podcast show.