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Smartphone Cameras Need a Better Location Because They’re Driving Me Nuts!

Do you find your self reaching for your smartphone only to grab it by its rear camera effectively smudging up the lens?  Are you cleaning said lens daily because your chubby fingers are always pawing at it?  If so, then you’re in the same Hell that I find myself in when it comes to keeping my Thunderbolt camera lens shiny and clean.  I understand why most smartphone cameras are on the back of the phone, but there has to be a money spot where humans won’t instinctively grab when they go to retrieve their phone from its lair, either in a pocket, or a purse (Men if you have a purse, or murse, please punch your balls for me).

I’ve been using my smartphone camera more often than I ever have before ever since scoring the HTC Thunderbolt, but as a result I find myself obsessing over the cleanliness of the camera lens.  For some reason, without fail, every time I reach for my phone while it’s in my pocket I grab it right on the camera lens with my dirty a*s finger tip.  This in turn kicks me into OCD mode where I pull out my portable micro-fiber cloth (What you don’t carry one with you on your briefcase too?) to clean off the lens like I was taking care of a newborn baby.  You should see me while I do it, you’d think I was polishing a 10k diamond with how intense I rub it down.  Even after a good cleaning I still feel like the lens will never be perfect again because I’ve poisoned it with finger scum, so I’ll sit there and rotate it in the light to see how many imperfections are on the lens like I was inspecting some sort of undiscovered material.

The Bane of My Existence

I’m also finding that due to the camera’s position on my phone I don’t hold it in landscape mode to type anymore, because every time I do I brush the lens and the whole OCD process begins anew.  I can only handle so many mental breakdowns each day, so I’ve taken to using my phone in portrait mode effectively turning me into a keyboard pecker.  I don’t want to look like I’m 90 years old while typing, but it’s better than smudging up my camera lens and going down the rabbit hole that is my head.

Why can’t these smartphones manufacturers put some sort of protective cover over their device’s camera lens?  You know, something similar to an actual camera where a plastic shield encases the lens if the camera is not in use.  Hell, I’d even take a lens cover that had to be manually slid up and down every time you wanted to use the camera.  I just don’t want to be wasting precious time each day polishing my lens from all of the marks I’ve laid on it just by using my phone.  It’s enough to put a person like me into the fetal position, quivering like a cold, wet, child in the corner of a dark room without my blanky.

So am I nuts, or what?  I may be slightly exaggerating, but I really do find myself cleaning the lens of my Thunderbolt at least once a day because I grabbed it with my digits.  Let us anal geeks band together in protest until smartphone manufacturers start making it harder to f*ck up your phone’s camera lens!  Who’s with me?  Anyone?  Maybe I am starting to go insane?  I guess it’s time to get fitted for my straight-jacket!  You’ve all experienced this smudge up BS before, but you’re probably normal, so you could give two sh*ts about it…
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Matt Heywood

The author Matt Heywood

Matt Heywood is the founder and EIC of EntertainmentBuddha.com where he strives to make you a better geek, one post at a time! When he’s not scouring the Internet for interesting nuggets of awesomeness he can be found in his secret lair enjoying the latest and greatest video games, taking pictures of toys, or talking Star Wars on EB’s Star Wars Time podcast show.