Soda Drinker Pro Review: I Wish I Could Eat Soda

SODA

Since the dawn of man’s first, faltering steps on the planet Earth, the human race has searched for answers.

“Who am I?”

“Why are we here?”

Prophets, barstool philosophers and many men in between have attempted to answer these questions with an existential fervor. In thousands of years, the human race has come no closer to determining the meaning of their existence.

Humans have, however, discovered one undeniable truth – soda is best enjoyed anywhere, anytime.

The documentation of this sugary phenomenon has been a commonplace fact for decades, but the indie video game sensation Soda Drinker Pro is by far the greatest example of soda swigging truth.

Soda Drinker Pro is a game that everyone should be required, under penalty of imprisonment, to play. In an era where morals are corrupted and faith in the powers that be has been eschewed, Soda Drinker Pro stands tall (128 fluid ounces by approximation) as a sign of all that is good and pure in the world.

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The game is very much a love letter to the humanity’s favorite sugary drink. Soda Drinker Pro takes players on a fantastical, somewhat hallucinatory journey through various locations where they can explore and drink soda to their heart’s content.

Soda Drinker Pro reminds players to enjoy what truly matters in life – taking in the scenery and slugging soda. With levels ranging from a gorgeous, hand illustrated beach to strange, non-Euclidian rooms and even outer space, there is no shortage of scenery to take in. Soda Drinker Pro is a gateway into worlds both mundane and fantastical – made all the better thanks to the constant accompaniment of your trusted soda.

As players explore the levels in Soda Drinker Pro, it is inevitable that they will want to virtually consume some soda. Luckily, Soda Drinker Pro features some of the most innovative drinking controls ever conceived by mankind. Upon deciding to take a sip, players use Mouse 1 to brace for soda intake and Mouse 2 to imbibe as much as they desire.

Cutting oneself off from sweet, sweet soda is no small task, and players must learn to balance their undying thirst with the amount of soda contained in their cup. Those who need more than their cup can hold are rewarded by exploring the levels where bonus soda is often littered in the unlikeliest of places.

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The journey through Soda Drinker Pro is a mind-altering one. The game’s varied levels are accompanied by one of the greatest video game soundtracks in recent memory – making each exploratory soda mission a head nodding and foot tapping experience. Similar to the game’s soundtrack, Soda Drinker Pro features brilliant catchphrases that any soda aficionado will surely find themselves uttering long after their time with the game is done. ‘I wish I could eat soda’ and ‘Bonus Soda’ are just a small selection of these terrifically written lines.

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Soda Drinker Pro asks not what the drink can do for you, but what you can do for soda. Life lessons are rampant during a playthrough. Similar to how mankind learned that soda is imperative to leading a happy life, Soda Drinker Pro makes it apparent that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single sip.

The greatest aspect of Soda Drinker Pro is that the game manages to capture a sense of adventure, fun and a sugar rush with no extraneous effort. Soda Drinker Pro is simple to pick up and play and is one of the most basic examples of unabashedly fun game design of all time.

Soda Drinker Pro is a game that no written word can truly explain. Head to the game’s site, download the LITE version for free, and see what the brilliance is all about.

Soda Drinker Pro | Review Summary
The Awesome: Soda simulation, Mind altering levels, Brilliant Soundtrack, Some of gaming's best catchphrases | The Not So Awesome: Leaves you wanting more
Soda Drinker Pro
Date Published: 11/18/2013
The world's greatest love letter to the world's greatest drink, Soda Drinker Pro is a visual and gustatory experience quite unlike any other video game ever conceived. Fans of exploration, adventure, and soda will find much to love.
9 / 10 Buddhas

Review Statement: Soda Drinker Pro VR was provided to the reviewer for purposes of this review. 

 

[#ff entbuddha] “Making you a better geek, one post at a time!”

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