‘Toddlers and Tiaras’ Is the First Sign of the Apocalypse!

The TLC show that features Moms and Dads who would’ve rather given birth to an inanimate doll than a real human, is must-see TV for anyone that enjoys the douche-chills.  If you ever want to feel good about yourself, or if you don’t feel like you’re a good parent, you owe it to yourself to watch an episode of this show.  I promise that you’ll instantly feel better about your parenting techniques, and you’ll realize that maybe your own parents really weren’t that bad.  Everyone of this sh*theads should be locked up and have their kids taken from them.  99% of the time it is clearly the parents who like these pageants and not the kids themselves.  I literally find myself wanting to reach through my TV and slap some of these people until they realize how ridiculous they are.

The new season is a prime example of why this show is more disturbing than watching baby seals get clubbed to death.  One particular family has had the audacity and perverted mind to put their 2-year-old daughter in a cone bra that Madonna used to wear for her controversial videos.  If a pair of fake t*ts on a 2 year-old isn’t bad enough, then you should see the routine.  Her Mother put together a dance number that more or less is a strip tease!  If the parents who do this aren’t jacked in the head then the crowd who watches it definitely are.  Wait until you hear these freaks scream with joy when this poor little 2-year-old gets down to her cone enhanced outfit.

I want to create a new band of superheroes that only focuses on going to these pageants and beating the living sh*t out of everyone involved!  If you really feel the need to get your son or daughter into pageants, please wait until they’re old enough to decide on their own.  These toddler pageants are 10x worse than say making your son or daughter play soccer, or tee-ball.  At least those aren’t full of perversion!  I could go on all day theorizing what could be mentally wrong with the parents, but I don’t want to bore you.  Instead, check out this mentally unstable parents below.  You’ve been overly douche-chilled out…

Kids don’t like this crap!


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Via [Today]


Tags : Bad PeoplecreepydoucheWTF
Matt Heywood

The author Matt Heywood

Matt Heywood is the founder and EIC of where he strives to make you a better geek, one post at a time! When he’s not scouring the Internet for interesting nuggets of awesomeness he can be found in his secret lair enjoying the latest and greatest video games, taking pictures of toys, or talking Star Wars on EB’s Star Wars Time podcast show.