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Matt’s busy doing cool things at E3 in Los Angeles, so I’ve been handed Drogon’s reins for this week’s top Game of Thrones moments.

Obviously there’s spoilers, so proceed with caution.

Sunday night’s episode continued it’s streak of more-talk-less-action, but all for the good of the story. Here’s a quick rundown of what transpired in ‘No One’:

Arya’s in hiding from Stabby McStabberson at Lady Crane’s humble abode, but it doesn’t take long for the Waif to find her. The assassin offs Lady Crane and allows Arya to escape, again, by rolling off a ledge, again. After an Aladdin-like chase through the crowded markets, Arya and the Waif square off in Arya’s lair.

The Hound doesn’t waste any time in putting his axe to good use, taking out a few of the rebel scum that were strays from the Brotherhood Without Banners. His quick search lands him back in the company of Beric Dondarrian, where he ponders recruitment in the Brotherhood over some tasty bones.

Brienne and Jaime. The two frenemies meet once again, as Brienne attempts to turn the Blackfish and his army to the North for Stark support. B and J share a heartfelt moment, even as Brienne opines that her honor keeps her with the Stark/Tully side and may have to fight Jaime, should it come to that. Also, we get more Bronn in this scene, which is always a plus.

Tyrion, Grey Worm, and Missandai attempt another awkward conversation, but this time Tyrion convinces the two to drink as they tell terrible jokes, though Grey Worm has no qualms about hearing Missandei laugh. Fortunately this interaction is cut short as Mereen comes under attack by the slave masters. Also, Varys is going on a “secret mission” that leaves Tyrion saddened about his best friend’s departure.

That’s the over-arching setup, now let’s get to the good stuff, in no particular order:

1) Edmure and Jaime

Game of Thrones

So a siege that was slated to potentially last two years was shortened to, what, a few weeks? A month? After Jaime reminds Edmure of a mother’s love by speaking of Cercei and Catelyn, Jaime reminds Edmure that nothing else matters except Cercei. He doesn’t care about Edmure, his wife, or the son he’s never met. “I’ll send for your baby boy,” Jaime states matter-of-factly to Edmure, “I’ll launch him into Riverrun with a catapult, because you don’t matter to me. Your son doesn’t matter to me. The people in the castle don’t matter to me. Only Cercei. If I have to slaughter every Tully who ever lived to get back to her, that’s what I’ll do.” This is what breaks Edmure and allows the siege of Riverrun to come to an abrupt end at the behest of the Blackfish, as Brienne and Pod row onward with a wave to the kingslayer.

2) The Mountain Gets Handsy

Game of Thrones

So far the Mountain Formerly Known As Gregor Clegane hasn’t done much more than take long walks beside Cercei — save for the time he bashed a flasher’s head against the wall —  so it’s high time he unleashed some fury. After a brief interaction with cousin Lancel, Cercei decided she’d rather let the beast beside her do the talking for her, as he literally ripped the head off the body of Faith Militant Soldier #4. This of course led to a big change in the judicial process…

3) Trial by Combat is Out of Style

Game of Thrones

Poor Cercei. The more she tries to tighten her grasp on whatever control she has left, the faster it slips through her powerless fingers. Her brother is off ending a siege for some castle no one really cares about, and now she doesn’t get invited to her own son’s big boy announcement that changes the way the way convicts get judged. The boy king Tommen — under guidance of the High Sparrow — decrees that trial by combat is savage and will no longer be an option for those accused of crimes. Naturally Cercei is stunned, because she was counting on this option once she faces her jury, and now the big man at her side is nothing more than decoration. However she does crack a smile when she learns from Qyburn that the rumors are much more than rumors, so whatever it is gives Cercei some silver lining.

4)  The Hound Takes a Few Swings

Game of Thrones

After his new crew got massacred before they finished framing the Middle of Nowhere Sept, Sandor Clegane took out his rage on the devious pseudo-members of the Brotherhood Without Banners. With a few swift swings of an incredibly sharp axe, the Hound takes care of a few stragglers before coming across Lem Lemoncloak and his cohorts with a noose around their necks. After a brief negotiation with Beric Dondarrion, the Hound unemphatically kicks the legs out from under two-thirds of the doomed men, and makes sure to swipe Lemoncloak’s boots before he’s finished swinging. All this killing creates a hungry, hungry Hound, and as he dines, Beric tries recruiting him into the Brotherhood. It seems unlikely that the Hound would join, but this is Game of Thrones, so who knows.

5) A Girl is Someone, but No One

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Arya’s journey with the Faceless Men in Braavos came to an end this week after making a new addition to in the Hall of Faces. Arya’s battle with the Waif may have left fans a little unsatisfied since it was taken care of off screen, but now the young Stark girl can finally begin her journey home that so many fans have been itching for. It took Arya so long to try to remove her current self from her past self, and now that she’s finally accepted who she really is, Jaquen blesses her with “a girl is no one” and Arya’s like “nah man, I’m a Stark and I’m out of here”. LET’S GET ANOTHER STARK REUNION!

6) Dany Returns to Mereen So She Can Hopefully Leave Mereen

 Game of Thrones

As the slave masters catapult flammable objects on Dany’s surrogate home, Tyrion and Grey Worm try to figure out how to use the Unsullied to best defend the city. Tyrion admits his mistake in trusting the masters to put a slow end to slavery, and learns that things are done much, much differently across the Narrow Sea. Fortunately, timing is everything as Dany re-emerges to the pyramid with Drogon soaring in the background. It seemed like those slave masters had an awful large number of ships. Perhaps Dany finds a way to take out the enemy without destroying their wooden horses. Maybe? Either way, the dragon brothers need to be fully united, so let’s hope that happens in the final two episodes.

Catch Game of Thrones Sunday nights at 9pm EST on HBO.

 

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Nick Hershey

The author Nick Hershey

Nick was born and raised in Amish country, has a beard, but isn't Amish. He's a fan of winter as long as he's at the top of a mountain with a board under his feet. He's an avid sports fan, movie junkie, tv bum, and music enthusiast who still purchases CDs for some reason.